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Submitted on
January 17, 2013
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When I first met you I didn't know who you were
Didn't know myself
You've always been there for me - whether I want you to
Or not
We've always been close
So close in fact could you move back a little
Or at least pop a mint?
We've shared
The laughter and the trrtrls
The sadness and the tears
The hurt and the anger
And still our life goes on
I treasure every waking moment
Okay, maybe not EVERY moment
But that's life right?
But I do treasure my life
My life with you
Because I know
I know any day you could be taken from me
To be with your Mother and your Brother
And so on this special day
Your day
We come to celebrate Auntie Bogus
No, I'm only kidding
We celebrate YOU Mom
Your life, your love for us all
But mostly we celebrate
What you've done for me
For all of us
I love you Mom
I know I'm not the tidiest or neatest
I know sometimes I say or do
or even don't do
Things
Little or big things, it doesn't matter
I'll get there eventually
Or at least the Clean And Tidy fairy will
RIght Mom
Mom?
And so I say to you this one final thing
Mom, you're so special to me
I love you more than I can
Or even do
Show
I love you "Old"
Happy birthday <3
It's my Mom's birthday and we're surprising her tonight by taking her out to dinner. But before that we're pretending we forgot. Poor Mom's all confused - I feel bad for her.

I really want to find her a great gift this year (Well every year) because she's supposed to be dead at about 41 years old... She's now 52. So every DAY I have her here on this earth is special to me. Sure we fight but what family doesn't?

Anyway, hope you enjoy it and don't mind the inside jokes :)

Oh and the name comes because a month is about 30 days (shut up is is okay XD) and my grandmother was thirty when she had Mom who was thirty when I was born lol
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:iconrikkilee-robertson:
I'm not really a poetical critique but I guess I can critique this. Birthdays are always special, and even if telling a half-truth to get to the special moment makes it easier then so be it. It's important because in a way it shows we care, and that we wouldn't rather have anyone else. Though we might say we hate our parents or that we don't care about them, truth is, a family's bond is deep, and can never be broken, and shows exactly how much we care. This poem represents how deep a bond you have with your mum, and it's a beautiful piece.

Rating: I have a slightly different rating system for when I DO critique poetry.

Style: (the way you write) 4/5
Skill: (how well you write) 4/5
Technique: (a bit like style, but the technique you have) 4/5
Meaning: (the meaning behind the words which varies from person to person) 5/5

Overall: 17/20

Overall comment: It's a truly beautiful piece. I couldn't express my love for my parents any better than what you did. I can't think of anything else to say really. Lol, good work. :D
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:iconsvitavotara:
Svitavotara Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Aww, such a nice poem. Happy Birthday to her! :party:
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:iconstrudel--cutie4427:
Strudel--Cutie4427 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013   Writer
She says thank you :)
Reply
:iconsvitavotara:
Svitavotara Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013
She's very welcome :D
Reply
:iconstrudel--cutie4427:
Strudel--Cutie4427 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013   Writer
:)
Reply
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